Bzzz goes the Bee: When people say looks don't matter, they truly lie.

Let me be clear about my post title--I think that people that claim that looks aren't important are liars. Appearance is important to most if not all people--you CARE about how you look before you leave the house, presenting yourself a certain way, no matter what that appearance is. Even if you're cool with rolling out of bed and leaving the house in the grubbiest clothes you own, there are still things or styles of clothes you would refuse to wear. Because it would feel ridiculous for you to be doing it. Why is it embarrassing to realize your fly has been down or you've had food stuck in your teeth all day? Because you have no idea who or how many people saw you that way.

So, my reasoning for making this post today? I've been pretty down about how much weight I gained and my general body changes during pregnancy, and it sucks. It's making me really down, and I can't help but feel stressed about it. I get so mad when I see all these people who only gained a small amount of weight and lost it right away and pretty much look like they didn't even have a baby.

Here I am, a month postpartum, and I have lost only 20 lbs. about 7 and a half of that was the baby. That means I've only lost the extra weight of the baby, the placenta, enlarged uterus, and additional fluids inside of me. You may think that 20 lbs is a lot. It's not, compared to the fact that I gained 62 lbs between the day I found out I was pregnant and the day I went into labor with Tristan. That isn't even considering that I lost 15 lbs in the first trimester. Between the second and third, I somehow managed to gain 77 lbs, most of which was gained at the end in fluids, because I was swollen like a mofo.

This number would probably bug me, but what bugs me more is how I feel generally wider, and my stomach is not flat for the first time, and covered in deep, angry stretch marks.

So today, after living in yoga pants, gauchos, sweats, leggings, skirts, and dresses, I went to Plato's Closet to get some jeans. The pair I found which fit quite nicely was 3 sizes larger than I normally wear. It was really disappointing.

So here is where I am now, the new starting point I guess:

What is most frustrating is that I had a rough birth which means I can't start exercising as early as I wanted, with good reason. I plan on going on some pretty frequent walks soon.

I just want to feel better again. Because like I was saying, looks matter... in the sense that our own looks matter to us. The aim? Get back here: