I know alot of people have really jumped on the "I Hate Jersey Shore" bandwagon, but as far as I'm concerned, those people hate Jersey Shore because so many people watch it, and if you haven't figured out (no offense, but if you're in high school, you really probably haven't figured out) people LOVE to jump on the bandwagon of hating everything popular. (YES, sixteen year old kid wearing all black writing poetry about death hating everyone else around you for being "sheep", I'm talking to you AND your friends-individuality, HA - who think you're the first people in the world to decide you are sooooo non-conformist.)
Yeah, I've got some views on people who think being an individual means loathing everyone who doesn't think exactly like them. If that' didn't make sense, it shouldn't. ANYHOW!
Jersey Shore recap for those of us who could give two shits what those non-conformist cool people think of us.
Also, because I feel like sharing, I am wearing my amazing gray knit wool cap. =)
I'm going to skip right to when the first people arrive. DUM DUM DUM. Sammi and Ronnie, for whatever reason, are still together (wait, i know the reason, Sammi enjoys being a doormat), and they show up first. Naturally, since Sammi's entire focus is on getting the upper hand with Snooki and J-Woww, they decide to take the "best room" upstairs. Nothing wrong with that-- until you consider that the "best room" has three beds. What kind of couple DOES this? Wouldn't you want a little bit of personal space? I can't help but think there was a little bit of production urging them to take the room to make waves, as if the show needed it. But, I can't speculate, and I'd prefer to think that those two are as big of idiots as they appear to be.
So when J-Woww arrives, Sammi gets more excited for her to come upstairs and see her in the "best room", she looks more giddy than she did before ANY date Ronnie ever took her on. Why this girl delights into thinking she's made someone nervous (who clearly could care less if she ever interacts with her or not), I don't know. Why she smiles like she's so proud of herself, I have even less of a clue. I think it has something to do with her thinking she's won a fight before in her life - newsflash dear, your boyfriend kept her from KILLING you that night, you should probably thank him and the other guys before you start patting yourself on the back.
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| Face to face again for the first time |
The biggest, newest thing going on this season is that Snooki has brought along her doppleganger, Deena Nicole, to take the place of the Staten Island Dump. Deena is every bit as loud an obnoxious as Snooki is. I bet I love her. hahahaha.
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| Deena and Snooki on their way to the shore |
Deena makes it clear on the drive up that she started drinking, well, pretty much yesterday, but "Don't tell anyone I'm drunk!" Sweetie, methinks you are more obvious than you believe yourself to be. Luckily, Deena seems to be able to stir up the fight that everyone has been waiting for since last season - Jwoww's chance to avenge herself.
When Pauly arrives, (much to Jwoww's happiness), she fills him in on the room situation, and his reaction is similar to all those in the world excluding Sam and Ron - WTF?? Enter the clueless couple, who tries to entire Pauly to room with them -- "Look, there's this whole side of the room for someone!" To which Pauly makes perfectly clear that he has no intention of sleeping in that room, or as he referred to it, "The Boring Room". So he settles into the two bedroom to ensure he and Vinny are able to room together.
Not to dissapoint, Vinny arrives next! As usual, he's being his adorable momma boy self that girls seem to love, and he's brought along... a shower caddy! He's so proud of it too, it makes for some ridiculous hilarity. Ten bucks says that shower caddy gets him laid at least once!
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| Vinny and Pauly, besties! |
When Snooki and Deena finally arrive, everyone welcomes Deena in with open arms, except of course, our least favorite gruesome twosome. Sammi puts on her Rude Bitch hat- actually, I take that back, she's been wearing it since she found out who wrote The Note in Miami - and treats Deena like you might treat someone who has some sort of communicable disease like leprosy. Needless to say, Deena doesn't take kindly to the treatment, and she certainly doesn't take the Sammi Sweetheart route of Passive Aggressive Bitchface. Even Ron has the decency to be polite to her. When Deena calls for a toast, everyone participates instead of our favorite priss.
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| Sammi being a sour puss |
After a rousing game of Flip Cup - an event Sammi chooses to exclude herself from and Ronnie grudgingly keeps her company - I would have tried to avoid her nagging too - Deena is now drunker than ever and decides she needs her Blast in a Glass cowboy hat. She enlists Mike to help her search for it. Once the hat has been located, Drunky Deena decides she will show Mike how hot she looks wearing her hat with just her bikini. Problem is, she manages to remove her bikini bottom while trying to slip out of her bathing suit cover up. Alot of people have speculated that this was faked, I'm pretty sure no one would humiliate themselves like that just for a show-- if anything, they'd do something that makes them look somehow cooler. Why do I have a feeling I'm going to be saying "Oh, Deena" ALOT this season?
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| Maximum Exposure |
Something that kind of surprised me was the revelation that Vinny slept with Snooki's BFF Ryder only a couple weeks before they came back to the shore house - something she was apparently reminded of when she realized Vinny was flirting with Deena. If you were watching but somehow unable to comprehend what was happening, there was clearly something between Snooki and Vinny, at the very least a bit of a crush. At least that's what I thought it was until this scene occured, and they have the deepest conversation in Jersey Shore history about how Vinny loves her and cares about her too much to hook up with her and possibly hurt her feelings if he hooks up with someone else afterward. I'm totally rooting for a Vinny + Snooki marriage in like five to ten years. No joke.
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| "I SAW YOUR BUTT!" - Snooki |
And then, the excitement happens. Drunk-as-shit Deena goes looking for Mike upstairs. (If you haven't been keeping track of the roomie's arrivals, the unlucky one to end up rooming with Ron and Sam is Mike). When she goes up there and tries to convince him to come downstairs and hang out, Sammi starts laughing at Deena. Deena says to Mike, "She's laughing at me", to which Mike replies, "No she's not" and Sammi chimes in with "I most definitely am!" Deena stalks out of the room and as she leaves, calls Sammi a cunt. She goes downstairs and tells the rest of the roomies why she's so pissed at Sammi, as Sammi sits upstairs evesdropping, and talking shit about how Deena is talking shit. (I don't think I need to point out how hypocritical Sammi is, but I will anyway. Pot, meet kettle.) The problem really explodes when Deena says "Stay upstairs and cuddle with your fucking boyfriend, I don't care", which sparks Ronnie to come downstairs and lash a verbal assault on Deena. As they argue, Sammi runs downstairs, and eventually, Ronnie backs out of the fight and Sammi steps in.
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| "GET REAL!" - Deema |
Sammi then calls Deena a cunt (which I think is kind of deserved--if you're going to dish it, you should be able to take it), and Deena gets upset and storms away. This incites Snooki to lay into Sammi in the calmest voice ever. "Sam, you are such a bitch. You are seriously such a bitch. I don't even know how you have friends". Sammi argues back with her, and Snooki tells Sam that Ron's mom called her a bitch, which we learn immediately is not true, but Ron doesn't deny it. Sammi is near tears at this point, as its clear Snooki's hit a sore spot with her, and Ron calls Snooks "Just a loser from Poughkeepsie".
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| Snooki informs Sam what we all know, that she's a bitch. |
The attack on Snooki infuriates JWoww, who starts yelling at Ron, and then Sammi shouts over everyone that she'll pound Jenni's face in. Jenni rushes forward and dares her to try it. Sammi fakes a punch, which causes Jenni to swing at her. First swing was a miss, but the next few land right on her face. The episode ends with Jenni having a clear grip on Sammi who is trying to escape once she realizes that the boys aren't going to protect her. (See honey? shouldn't have run your mouth about kicking ass in Miami, now your backup thinks you don't need them!)
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| Blurry, but all I could find. It will be interesting to see how this ends. |
The fight continues this Thursday, and you best believe, I'll be tuned in.
Until then--
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