Its nights like this that I don't know how to express how I feel.  I'm not sure if I feel sad about being pregnant, or just being a woman in particular.

I am in Phoenix, visiting my best friend.  But I'm alone right now, because I am pregnant.

Tony is out with his cousin, and I thought I would be OK with it because I wouldn't be alone... I didn't consider that Becca would probably go out too.  I didn't consider that I would be constantly reminded of all the things I could not do; that everyone else can do.  I can't drink, I can't seem to do much of anything without having to use the bathroom every half hour.

I can't help but feel resentful of the fact that it took two of us to make this baby, but the one who has to change is me.  I don't want to be the one to tell anyone what they can and can't do.  But how come I'm the only one who is limited?  How come I have to stay home alone?  I know I'm being so melodramatic--its just one night, after all. 

I just feel so alone.