Time to let it out.

I have been feeling so lonely.

People have talked for ages about how once they got pregnant, it seemed like no one was interested in being around them anymore.  I didn't think much of it--in fact, I was pretty much one that just kept about my life and kept doing the things I always did, which was going out to drink and party.

My moment of realization was when I was in Phoenix.  A few entries ago, I talked about how annoyed I was with my best friend's roommate, how she was ALWAYS THERE, and I felt like she was the reason that I only really spent two days of the trip actually hanging out together, and the rest of the trip was spent with her.  I think what I just didn't want to admit to myself is that I wasn't mad at her roommate, I was mad at her.  I was and still kind of am mad at her, for lack of better terms, for ditching me to go party.

I'm a reasonable girl.  I admit that this isn't her baby.  I admit that its not her responsibility to change what she does because of me.  But I do wish that if she didn't want me to be there, that if I was just going to cramp her weekend style, that she wouldn't have seemed so gung ho and excited for me to visit.  That Saturday night was supposed to be our girls night.  We were going to do our nails together and watch chick flicks.  I thought we'd be hanging out until we passed out.  Instead, we did our nails together with The Soup playing in the background, while her roommate sat there clearly bored waiting for her to decide that they were going to go.  I realized then that the plan wasn't to have a girls night with me, it was to placate me until they thought I'd be so tired I wouldn't mind they were leaving to go have "real" fun.  It was a fucking pity party.  NOT ONCE, through my whole pregnancy, have I felt like a burden upon anyone, or did I mind missing out on things like that.  What did I care?  I'm having a baby, the most joyous thing in the world, right?  But that night, I was something to deal with.  Someone that they HAD to hang out with for awhile.

Now that I'm home, I can't help but notice every single person that more or less avoids me now that I'm pregnant.  I can't help but notice the things I don't get invited to, and more importantly, the things that Tony does now that I know I'm not welcome to do.

His best friend calls him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT to come over and drink, smoke, and hang out with him.  I'm never invited.  And why would I be?  I'm just the pregnant girl.  I can't drink, I can't smoke, and I'm sensible enough to know I wouldn't have fun being the sober one.  I KNOW THIS.

But it still FUCKING HURTS.  It hurts that no one calls and asks to hang out with me for a few hours.  That now that I'm pregnant I'm basically dead in the eyes of so many people.  I can't help but resent the fact that most of the other people I know that are pregnant right now or have been pregnant recently are married and whose friends aren't doing what they should be in their twenties.  I hate that I feel so pathetic that its like no one wants to be around me.  And I can't blame them for it.  I was just like them.  I didn't get it.  Now I get it.

I can tell I annoy Tony when I get upset that he leaves to go hang out for a bit.  I see it in his face; he doesn't want to be made to feel badly about having a social life.  But why doesn't he understand that everytime he goes, I feel badly about NOT having one?  That I feel so pathetic that no one wants to be my friend anymore, and no one wants to be around me and when he goes I feel like he doesn't even want to be around me, that being with the person that he made a baby with isn't nearly as fun as going to party for a couple hours with his boys.  Its not fucking fair.  Its just NOT FUCKING FAIR.  Is it so terrible that I want someone to want to be around me?  I don't want company, I WANT TO BE WANTED.

I want to feel... not so lonely anymore.

Until then--

I got a new kitty!!!!!!!!!!

His name is Louie and he's the CUTEST thing!  A week before our three year anniversary Tony told me that he was planning on surprising me with a kitten!  Only he couldn't keep it a secret anymore he was just that excited.  He showed me the kitten that he was looking at on Craigslist and I was so pumped!

So Tony emailed them and we didn't hear back the rest of the night.  The next morning when I looked at the posting on Craigslist it was GONE.  SO SAD!  I seriously thought I was going to cry and almost did (pregnancy horomones), and then shortly thereafter we got the email from them saying that unfortunately the kitten had already found a home.  I was so crushed.

That very day we started looking online at the Humane Society website for our area to look into the kittens they had available.  Right away I noticed they had a litter of young kittens that were dropped off late April that were part orange part white and so adorable!  They had video's posted of them too and they looked so cuddly and cute!  So we went to the Humane Society to play with them and see if we liked any of them.  When we looked online there were three orange kittens left, but when we got there, there was just one!  He was curled up asleep next to a gray and white kitten, and there were two darker tiger stripped kittens that were going wild trying to get into our laps!  Both of those kittens had nasty colds though, and I didn't like how desperate for attention they were already acting.

We woke up the orange and white guy and played with him a bit, and he seemed to be a bit playful and sleepy at the same time, but an overall sweetheart!  We also looked at the older cats and played with the other kittens, but as soon as we had played with the orange and white kitten, we knew we had found the perfect guy for us!

So we adopted him and brought him home, and put him into the spare room to get him acclimated before we released him to deal with Zuma, who can be quite testy at times.  We also brought him home with a slight runny eye so we knew he would probably develop a "kitty cold" as well like the other kittens in his area had.  I took him to the vet the next day and ensured that he didn't have any fatal diseases and to make sure his cold was just a cold.  The vet said he should be fine within a few weeks but if he started to get sick, to call them to get him some antibiotics.  So far he's been happy and playful, and eats a ton.

The first night, he was really needy, crying all the time and obviously scared of his new home.  By the second night, after his vet visit, we introduced him to Zuma, who wasn't impressed at first, but then slowly warmed up to him, and now they play great!  She is always letting him know who the Queen is though, and doesn't let him forget it!

So, without further ado... Louie!

Asleep on the cat tower that Zuma never uses, believe me she wanted to use it as soon as he started to though!

Good morning!  See his runny eye?  Poor thing!  Hope his cold clears up soon.

Tony is doing something to get his attention...

But now attention is focused back on mommy!

Sleeping on the kitchen chair, one of his favorite places

So innocent looking!

After his first night home.  He cried SO much that I had to bring blankets and pillows into his room and sleep on the floor with him to get him to stop crying.  The next night he slept with us, and by the next night Zuma was being nice to him, so he was able to sleep in his cat bed in the living room.

FEATHER TOY!

Crashed out on Tony's chest, they are quite the buddies.

Zuma cleaning him, until she noticed that someone saw her being nice and promptly vacated the scene.

Here are the very limited pictures I took in AZ.  Tony took a few on our hike but he has yet to upload them or post them up for me, so I'll probably post those later.

In front of this fountain scene in my sexy blue dress :P

Awkward cuddling, lolol

And the bump emerges.  Funny thing about this picture is that i had a print made from Snapfish and they COMPLETELY cut off Tony's head in it!  So irritating, he's tall, but not THAT tall!

My pale ass displaying my badass new earrings from this cute store at Fashion Square in Scottsdale.

And because I'm starting to feel lazy, my newest nail shots. They are newspaper nails!  I got the idea from an article a friend posted on Facebook.  Basically you paint your nails any light color (I picked a VERY pale purple color called purple cloud by Sally Hansen Manicure) and then take newspaper clippings, (obviously you need to use small clippings or your going to have this HUGE newspaper wrapped around your nail, and soak tissue or a cotton ball in rubbing alcohol and put it on the back of the newspaper and the print will just transfer off onto your nail!  Its backwards of course, but looks really cool.  Just don't forget to put a clear topcoat on it or you'll smear newsprint all over yourself.

Far away...

Closer look!  With an attempt to cover the remainder of a nasty preggo zit I got on my chin.  LOL

Both hands!  Still covering the offending blemish on my face. :)

Well, that's all I have until now.

Until then-- (whenever then is)

So not long after my last posting, Tony came home since I texted him and told him I by myself.  I'm glad he was sweet enough to consider that I was by myself.

On Mother's Day, Tony was finally able to feel the baby kick from the outside!  Baby gets stronger and stronger each day, I can't wait to see his little face in September. :)

I had a good time in Phoenix, but I really wish that I could have spent more time with my best friend.  At first, I was surprised that her roommate and closest friend from growing up in Omaha didn't seem to be around my the first couple days.  I even said to her, "Wow, I'm surprised I haven't seen her once."  Jinx.  After that, it seemed like any time I saw Becca, there she was.  I never really minded her before, probably because when I saw her, she was visiting here when Becca lived here, and in essence, she was on my turf.  This time though, it was the other way around--it's like, I'm only here for five days, and she's constantly there, talking about what they're going to do last week, what this friend of theirs or that friend of theirs was doing, and staring at me like I was some idiot intruding on their space.

Maybe I should have just said something to Becca, but I didn't want to start drama.  It really made me feel so distant from her, like I didn't fit into her world anymore, and her friend was out to make sure that I knew it.  I think that's why it hurt when she left that night to go out and drink with her.  I felt like I was putting her out by just being in town and being pregnant.  It really hurt.  Coming home this time around was really bittersweet.  She'll always be my best friend, and her family like a second family to me.  I just hate feeling like we're moving in two very opposite directions.  I know that this baby is a huge change, and a positive one for me, I would just really hate for him to be the reason why there is a disconnect with one of the most important people in my life.

When we got home, it was close to 8 our time, so we didn't do much other than catch up on shows we had missed while we were gone and sleep.   We both took the day off today, and got A LOT done.  Besides basic tidying up, we managed to get alot of the baby's room organized and cleaned out, and made space on our bookshelf for his books.  We want to get him a brand new crib, and a little dresser for his clothes.  His bedroom will turn out quite nicely when we're done, I think.

After that we went to the grocery store and got food for the week.  I'm focused on being sure to eat healthy foods from here on out.  After visiting the grocery store, we stopped at Wal-mart to pick up a few non-food items, such as a new pitcher to make juices and tea in, a paper shredder, new sink guards, and some food for Zuma.  As soon as I got everything put away, Tony went to a friends house to hang out, and I started making dinner.

I started with making homemade tortilla chips (yum!).  That took me about half an hour, after which I texted Tony and told him that dinner would be ready in about 20 minutes.  He said he'd be there soon.  I grilled chicken in lime juice, steamed broccoli and topped it with cheese, washed some strawberries, and topped it off with some pink lemonade that I made in my new pitcher.  The dinner was really cute!  I put alot of effort into it and made the table look really nice--strawberries into cute bowls, folded the napkins nice, and even chilled the glasses for the lemonade.

Frustratingly, Tony was late for dinner.  I really hate sometimes when he goes off with friends and seems to lose track of time, especially since I spent so much time and put so much effort into dinner.  I probably shouldn't complain, he's always so supportive and there for me and I don't want to make it sound like he isn't by any means, but we all have things that we wish were a little better, don't we?

I'm just in a melencholy mood tonight.  Hopefully I'll be in a bit of a better mood in my next post.  I'll also try to put up Phoenix pictures.  There isn't alot-- we didn't really take much, especially since I have a complex about "looking like a tourist".  But there are some. :)

Until then--

Its nights like this that I don't know how to express how I feel.  I'm not sure if I feel sad about being pregnant, or just being a woman in particular.

I am in Phoenix, visiting my best friend.  But I'm alone right now, because I am pregnant.

Tony is out with his cousin, and I thought I would be OK with it because I wouldn't be alone... I didn't consider that Becca would probably go out too.  I didn't consider that I would be constantly reminded of all the things I could not do; that everyone else can do.  I can't drink, I can't seem to do much of anything without having to use the bathroom every half hour.

I can't help but feel resentful of the fact that it took two of us to make this baby, but the one who has to change is me.  I don't want to be the one to tell anyone what they can and can't do.  But how come I'm the only one who is limited?  How come I have to stay home alone?  I know I'm being so melodramatic--its just one night, after all. 

I just feel so alone.

Why is a porn site linking to me?

 I was just checking out my "stats", and looking at to sites which directed people here, and for some reason, this one site directed at least one person here and its obviously a porn site! Um, OK.... there's absolutely nothing pornographic on this site at all! I mean, I know I'm not and all... (hahaha).

Moving past that random complaint, I haven't written in awhile, although I've thought about it, just been rather, ahem, busy. But I feel like I've been bursting with things to say at least, so maybe, once your done looking at porn, you can take a breather and come read my random ramblings? Or maybe I'll bore you back to the porn, I don't know.

So, the things I've been up to:

1) Still pregnant. lol. I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow and am totally excited to find out if we're having a boy or a girl next Monday! Wearing my new favorite dress :)

19 Weeks and loving my peanut!

2) Had a photo adventure. OK, so it's only four pictures, but basically details what I was up to a couple of Monday's ago when Tony was out of town and needed A LOT of errands run for him. So here is the series I sent him!  Warning: I'm wearing absolutely no makeup, but I make up for it with a very cute purple hat :P

First stop was the post office!  Had to mail off Tony's Tax return, deadline was midnight that night!

After that, I went to the bank to deposit money into both of our accounts.  Not the best picture, but I had to get the bank in there.  Remember, this was a photo adventure for Tony :P

City Hall to obtain a contractor's code book for our favorite out of town hero boyfriend :)

And the last stop was for me!  Had to get my weekly pizza bagel and mocha frappe from Bagel Boy!  Posing in front of one of their many paintings

3) Zuma is as crazy as ever. Lately, she's taken to hiding in Tony's backpack. I think she is hoping he won't notice someday when he goes out of town and takes her with him, which is ridiculous, because she HATES traveling. It's either her forgetting that she hates to travel, or her just liking to squeeze herself into random small places.

"How the heck did you find me??"

Oh, and here she is being adorable and looking out the window. :)

Sunshine!  I are watch cat!

4) Went to Laos New Year! My camera was being ridiculous and ran out of battery juice, so I had one of our friends snap this lone picture of Tony and I at the festivities. YES, I know my boobs are huge looking. Maybe that's why porn is linking here? I'm pregnant people! I can't help it!

Jbano's thumb was in the way, but that's alright, we still like him. :)

5) Easter Sunday was my time to play with all my little cousins! I only managed to get pictures of two of them, but absolutely adored playing with my youngest first cousin Mailey. She's half Vietnamese, so I'm excited that my baby will have another half Asian cousin that doesn't come from Tony's side of the family! She was so adorable the whole time, I hope my little one is as sweet as her! The little baby boy is Matthew, so smiley, I couldn't get over how cute he was either! He has an older brother, a two year old named Jesse, pictured much farther back on this blog at my cousin's wedding, pulling on Auntie's wedding dress. If you care to look, go look. He was quite the handful! Two year olds, lol.


 

Me and Mailey

Baby Matthew!  So cute!

Hugs!

The only thing that really sucked about this Easter was dealing with my mother. When my mom showed up, she seemed like she was in a good mood, and as the rest of the adults finished making Easter lunch and I finished playing with the kids, I couldn't help but notice that my mom had went missing. We found her in the backseat of her car, trying to "sleep".

A little background, I've always had kind of a volatile relationship with my mom. She gets depressed easily, and has always done ridiculously dramatic things that I always feel are for a little bit of attention. She's also a gambling addict. Slowly but surely, she has lost the trust of the majority of our family members. As a kid, she would gamble the rent away, get the electricity shut off, the phone shut off, and always have an excuse that didn't have to do with gambling.

When I was fourteen, we were removed from my mother's care and placed into my grandparent's custody by the state. Our relationship really went downhill at that point, because she blamed me for it. The day the police came to our apartment, I had finally gotten a chance to sleep over at my grandparents without my brothers and sisters, as I was being forced to babysit every single day for free, while my mom worked two jobs that never seemed to generate any income (Gambling). We started to mend our relationship as I got older, but I always remained weary of her, never giving her money when she asked, never going out of my way to "help her out". She was always 'out of gas', always 'between pay checks', and ALWAYS had an excuse. A lot of the things I resent from my childhood, I resent because of her. Because she would always do things "for her kids" but it was always clear to me that the only person she was thinking of was herself.

Fast-forward to Easter this year. As I said, everything was going fine, I even felt like I had lucked out because the aunts of mine who had previously disowned me (also previously discussed on this blog) weren't there, and all of my favorite relatives from my mom's side were happy to see Tony and I and we were all enjoying each others company. Tony and I were having such fun playing with all the kids and getting some experience with little tykes before our little one comes. And then the mom drama starts. After we found her in the backseat of her car, my sister tried to convince her to come in and eat. She wouldn't do it. My uncle went to talk to her. Nothing. In the back of my mind, I had a feeling that she was expecting me to come give her attention, but I knew that the reason she was doing all this was to get attention, and I just wasn't going to put up with it.

So I ignored it. I'm just so sick and tired of this over-dramatic bullshit from her. Right now, she's facing eviction and called me to come get some of the things my grandmother willed to me from her apartment because "they'll probably lock her out and then she'll lose all her stuff because she has nowhere to go and no one to help her". That basically turned out to be a ploy to get me to come over to her apartment, where she wasn't even trying to PACK anything up for herself to at least get into her car or anything, and talk about her boyfriend, whom I despise, and let her know that I didn't give a flying fuck about anything that has to do with him and I wouldn't hear of it. She ended up keeping me at her apartment to 'talk' and acted like nothing was wrong, like she didn't even care that she was putting all this stress of her never ending issues onto her pregnant daughter. I left with my books (my willed items, I loved reading them when I was a kid), and vowed to not get sucked in like that again. Which is why I chose to ignore her this time around. The way I see it, she wasn't getting the attention she wanted, and so she decided she would get the attention one way or another.

When my sister tried to talk to her, she told her that she didn't want to "lie to everyone when they asked her how things were going" and that she knew it would just be better if "she weren't there". After awhile, she had my younger brother get their things and come out to the car, and left with him. Then, she came right back and dropped my brother off, telling him to "Have Kaitie bring him home." Kaitie (my sister), was literally just getting ready to leave to have Easter dinner with her fiance's family, and Tony and I were just getting ready to get some things done around the house. She just CAME BACK and then left my brother at my uncles with no consideration as to how it would affect anyone else. Which is another reason why I think it was all about attention.

All of this crap makes me really weary of the idea of my child spending any time with her. I had to grow up with this crap because she is my mother. But I do not want the burden of her dramatics placed on my children. My baby doesn't deserve to feel stressed about the fact that she has never bothered to grow up. To her, its what the world has done to her, and to her, there is nothing she can do to fix it. The only time she takes accountability for her actions, she's freaking out, crying, and saying things like "the world would be better without me". All I want to do is protect my peanut from things like this. I know we all get down sometimes, but I don't want my son or daughter exposed to that kind of behavior. I don't want them to think that there is a way they can "fix" her, because the only person who can "fix" her is herself, but until she starts being accountable for her role in her own situations, that isn't going to happen.

Blah, I'm glad to get that out.

We'll close today with an old school picture of me and the bestie, whom I will get to see in LESS THAN A WEEK! PHOENIX HERE WE COME!!!!!

 Until then--

For Michael

I haven't written in two weeks, because as usual, I've been, well, busy.  Between work and school starting again, the Hectic Train has set course yet again.  Usually, Mondays are a great day of solace, but last Monday was a big day of the start of closure.

On July 10 of last year, many, many people lost one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest, and most fun-loving person many of us had ever met.  To me, he was just a friend.  To his family and best friends, he was so much more.

On the night of July 9th, Michael and the rest of the guys were out and about having a good summer night.  During this time, Tony and I were going through a "growing up" period, where the both of us were making a conscious effort to spend less time out partying, and more time focusing on work and our futures.  Part of this was distancing ourselves from certain people in our lives-- not Michael, he was one of the only ones we were still spending time with regularly, but some of the people mutual friends that we shared.  Basically, a lot of old drama that need not be covered within this post.

Michael was riding with two of his best friends and a couple of other friends of ours.  The driver was sober (He loved his BMW like a baby), but unfortunately, the driver headed the wrong way down the interstate with a .211 BAC was not.  As they approached the exit she had entered on, the car in front of them swerved heavily, revealing a pair of bright headlights headed straight for them.  Corbin, the driver, swerved left to try to avoid the driver.  Instead of swerving away from them, she swerved toward them instead, rendering his attempt to get away from her car pointless.

That driver was Tammy Kvasnicka, someone who had been convicted of drinking and driving twice before, and caught other times in which the charges had been reduced to reckless driving.  If each and every time she had been caught resulted in a DUI conviction, she would have had a total of 4.  Why this state is consistently so lenient on repeat offenders is mind boggling.

The car crashed into Corbin's BMW on the passenger side, and caused damage from the driver side all the way back to the passenger side of the vehicle, where Michael was sitting.  The front seat passenger, Tony (not my Tony), suffered severe injuries from the crash, his right arm severely maimed.  He has had to go through several surgeries, including skin grafts and replacement of a nerve from his leg to his arm in an effort to regain use of his arm again, along with months of physical therapy.  As you can imagine, his arm hasn't healed, although he is truly lucky to even have his arm at all.

Michael lost his life right away.  Directly after the crash, his two best friends did everything they could to get him to wake up, respond in some way.  He never, ever woke up.  At just 27, this woman took away the life of one of the most wonderful people many of us have ever known.

Last Monday was her trial.

After three days of the case being presented (without the fact of her previous DUI convictions being made known to the jury), and six hours of deliberation, they found her guilty of Manslaughter with a Dangerous Weapon, Vehicular Homicide, Vehicular Battery, and DUI.  Her sentencing is in June.

The manslaughter charge is what the defense was trying to exonerate her of, saying that what she did was not excusable, but that the Manslaughter charge was too much for what she did.  Thankfully, the jury didn't agree.

Michael was special to all of us, but most of all, to his family.  He was so close with his brother, his nieces, his cousins, and his best friends.  He never had one bad thing to say about anyone, and even now, I'm sure that if he were here and it were someone else's loss we were mourning, he would simply stay quiet as well all expressed our disgust of this woman.  Hopefully, she spends the rest of her life in prison for the terrible loss she caused not only his family, not only his friends, but the world of this wonderful, loving spirit.

Hopefully, the video I made shortly after he was gone is viewable to more than just me.  I can't upload to Youtube because of the songs I used for it, copyright violation and whatnot.

So Michael Xayavong, I miss you, we all miss you.  I know your looking down on us, and miss us as much as we miss you.  Hopefully, we'll all be together again, one sweet day.

I effing LOVE days off. :)

Because I have the whole day to do whatever I want with!  Tehehehehe.

I'm in a giddy mood because I just had THE most delicious pizza bagel and mocha frappe from Bagel Boy, which for those of you reading who don't live where I do (and that would constitute basically all three of you that regularly stop by to read this kind of insanity--which by the way, I don't KNOW that there are three REGULAR readers, just that about every post I make seems to get about three views each time, with the exception of when I mention some celebrity or recent event that people google and thus, stumble across my page, increasing my hit load like crazy), Bagel Boy is a local sandwich shop that makes sandwiches and whatnot on nothing but bagels.  And, its like EVERY kind of bagel you could ever imagine, fresh made right in the shop.  You can obviously also just buy bagels by the dozen or half-dozen, but frankly, this girl girl LOVES her pizza bagels (and BLT bagels!), so just buying a bagel to put cream cheese on just isn't gonna happen here.

And I just realized I totally sound like some sort of advertisement for Bagel Boy.  Note: if you're REALLY interested in figuring out where in the flatlands of the Midwest I live in, you could search Bagel Boy, because I'm pretty sure its a local thing, and not a regional thing, but even *I'm* too lazy to do that, so I'm doubting you will either.  ha.

So, something about the sugar from the frappe (and possibly the caffeine, which, FYI, I *know* is bad for me pregnant, but my doctor says a cup of coffee a day is totally fine, and its not like I drink one frappe a day!  And I gave up coffee totally once I got knocked up, since I'm responsible and shit.  hahahaha. (No seriously, I'm laughing out loud as I type this crap, I have the energy to turn cartwheels at this point!)  SUGAR RUSH POW.

If you hadn't noticed by my paragraph upon paragraph rambling of what I ate today, I'm no longer feeling nauseous!  That means no more of this:

Legs only, lets try to keep it not completely disgusting, here.

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor at work, after losing my lunch.  I swear, the first three months of my pregnancy this kid just hated EVERYTHING I ate!

I haven't been up to much since my last post, other than working and getting through finals, and I managed to finish the quarter with two A's and an A-!  Which to me, counts as A's, helllurrrrr.  Who came up with this + and - crap anyway?  An A is an A, a B is a B, and an F is an F.  Its kind of like the professor is saying, "I HAVE to give you an A, but I don't want to really, so instead I'm going to give you an A-, so you know I think you don't REALLY deserve that A, betch!"  Just my opinion.

Tony and I went on a date last night (yes, we still go on dates, haha), and we went to see Suckerpunch, which A) was totally my idea (the movie choice, his idea to turn into a date, probably because I wanted to see a guy flick so badly) and B) I really liked!  I didn't like how rushed the ending was, and I get a little cranky when movies don't end the way I think they should end. (spoiled much?  ha.)  But the effects were just fantastic, and lets face it, even *I* am a sucker for hot chicks who know how to handle their weapons.  And I fell in love with the lead's lips, I just kept staring at them every single time she was on screen, which was most of the time.

Emily Browning is the lead (left) as Baby Doll, and those things on her face are her gorgeous lips.  Also pictured, Vanessa Hudgens as Blondie, and Jamie Chung as Amber.

Also had NO CLUE that Vanessa Hudgens was in this film!  I thought she did a fantastic job, this is the type of stuff I want to see her in, not that High School Musical shit.  (Which I never saw, because I have a nose and can smell "shit" from a mile away.  I blame Zac Efron.  hahaha).  I think if she goes for the right projects she definitely has a shot at being a really respected actress.  And people really need to get over this whole "nude photo scandal" crap, whomever is releasing those photos of her clearly are hanging on to all the photos in one set that they managed to hack forever ago.  She's gorgeous, and to me comes off as down to earth and funny, and I really think people need to give her a chance to make a non-Disney name for herself.  Just sayin!

So, I have a fricken-frack ton of pictures to put up, and this time I managed not to take any sunset shots, unless you count my glowy preggo face as a sunset shot. :)

Speaking of having a glowy preggo face, I've also been doing a seemingly OK job of not breaking out... until yesterday.  I grew this weird reddish raised mark on my face which can really only be described as acne, but its not like its a whitehead or anything like that, just this cyst like thing that decided it would try to ruin my date.  It's still here, I think I'll just have to be patient until it goes away.

There the little monster is, wreaking havoc right before my date.  And thats wearing ALOT of concealer!  Otherwise tho, my makeup is pretty simple, just a little blush, some eyeliner/mascara and neutral skin toned eyeshadows.  And lip balm, duh.

But, being preggo has helped my hair grow a little faster!  My hair doesn't really like to grow, but this picture proves its getting longer, and managing to not be completely dull looking ALL the time.

Hair is also my natural color.  I hope I'm never dumb enough to color it again!  You just can't replicate a shade like that.

I've also been spending alot of time decorating my nails, having fun playing with my nail art pens and getting different colors to play around with.

Was at Walmart, so raided the nail polish aisle.  New spring colors pictured with Tony's headphones, a pilates DVD, and my sketch I created for the Sim house I plan on creating once my Legacy family has enough Simoleans to do it with!  If you don't play the Sims 3, you won't get it, so don't even try.

Last week, I decided to do bumblebee nails!  I got the idea from watching a tutorial by BubzBeauty (if you don't know who she is, look her up on Youtube!  She's SO adorable, has the cutest accent I've ever heard, and comes across as so sweet and good-hearted you can't just help but love her to death).  I LOVED the idea, so I tried to replicate it!

Buzzzzzz!  lol

For some reason, any time I try to take a picture of just my nails, you can't ever see the artful things I've done and it looks like shit!  so I try putting my hands next to my face, and voila, slightly more viewable.  Maybe I just need a better camera, both point and shoot and on my phone.

OK, only slightly more viewable.  The bumblebee path lines looked ridiculously awesome though.

Today, I decided to keep up with the spring theme and decided to try DAISY nails!  This one was all my own idea, just because I thought it'd be really easy.  And it was!  I'm telling you, if you want to draw or doodle a bit on your nails, INVEST IN NAIL ART PENS.  They're cheap, easy, and very effective! 

You know your cameras suck when your webcam takes way better pictures of your nails.

Speaking of doodling, I found this picture in my phone of this picture I drew in a meeting at work.  I started out doodling snowflakes, which turned into drawing an evergreen tree, which turned into drawing a whole freaking snow scape.  That meeting was BORING as hell!

Considering I'm so sick of snow... yeah, don't know why I did this.  hahahaha

I got this really sick peacock ring from Plato's Closet recently.  I effing LOVE rings with animals on them, so when I saw this I couldn't help myself!

to me, "Peacock Ring" sounds really dirty.  Like I'm saying "Cock Ring" or something.  Ew.

Also in ridiculously awesome jewelry news, St. Patrick's day allowed me to bust this piece out of the woodwork for all to see.  I got SO many compliments on it all day, I don't know why I don't wear it more, probably because every time I put it on, I feel like I'm dressed for St. Patrick's Day!

Ugh, so blurry, stupid phone.

And finally, a few pictures that don't fit anywhere:

Me, totally loving my off the shoulder navy top on a very nice March day, one of the only one's we had:

That scar near my shoulder is from getting a mole removed

This amazing plate of ravioli I had at Olive Garden back in February (also lost in the depths of my phone's pictures, and recently rediscovered).  SO good, but apparently seasonal, because when we went back recently, they no longer had it. :(

Smelled so good, I took a bite before I took the picture!

And lastly, this cute bear I busted out to have on my desk at work during March.  I love love love love love teddy bears, so this seasonal guy stole my heart!  Sorry Tony.  haha.

I always try to hide my work computer monitors with my purses, gotta keep that work info SECURE.  lol

And I have finally run out of things to ramble about.  I'll come up with more soon, hopefully.

Until then--