I love the way your hair looks after a bath--fluffy and downy--and how it dries almost instantly
I love your gummy, toothless smile
I love the way you stretch your whole body when someone picks you up after sleeping
I love when you make a teeny, tiny "o" with your lips and look around
I love your long fingers
I love the hair on your shoulders
I love the way you completely relax when you eat
I love the way your curl up your lip into a half-smile as you drift off to sleep
I love the way you look around at the world, taking in everything you can see
I love the way you sigh a huge sigh of relief once you are calmed after being SO upset
I love the way you always try to sleep with your face covered--blankets, hands, anything
I love how much you love water--the sound of it, being in the bathtub--you are so content
I love how you lightly scratch your fingers on my shoulder when you fall asleep on it
I love the tuft of hair on the top of your head and how it stands every which way
I love how your eyes light up exactly like your father's eyes do when you smile
I love when you "yell" out to the world, quite possibly just to hear your own voice out loud
I love the way you growl at me when your searching for food
I love the way you sleep with your body stretched out--like daddy
I love you, my Tristan-boo--you will always have my heart
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
When people say looks don't matter, they truly lie.
Let me be clear about my post title--I think that people that claim that looks aren't important are liars. Appearance is important to most if not all people--you CARE about how you look before you leave the house, presenting yourself a certain way, no matter what that appearance is. Even if you're cool with rolling out of bed and leaving the house in the grubbiest clothes you own, there are still things or styles of clothes you would refuse to wear. Because it would feel ridiculous for you to be doing it. Why is it embarrassing to realize your fly has been down or you've had food stuck in your teeth all day? Because you have no idea who or how many people saw you that way.
So, my reasoning for making this post today? I've been pretty down about how much weight I gained and my general body changes during pregnancy, and it sucks. It's making me really down, and I can't help but feel stressed about it. I get so mad when I see all these people who only gained a small amount of weight and lost it right away and pretty much look like they didn't even have a baby.
Here I am, a month postpartum, and I have lost only 20 lbs. about 7 and a half of that was the baby. That means I've only lost the extra weight of the baby, the placenta, enlarged uterus, and additional fluids inside of me. You may think that 20 lbs is a lot. It's not, compared to the fact that I gained 62 lbs between the day I found out I was pregnant and the day I went into labor with Tristan. That isn't even considering that I lost 15 lbs in the first trimester. Between the second and third, I somehow managed to gain 77 lbs, most of which was gained at the end in fluids, because I was swollen like a mofo.
This number would probably bug me, but what bugs me more is how I feel generally wider, and my stomach is not flat for the first time, and covered in deep, angry stretch marks.
So today, after living in yoga pants, gauchos, sweats, leggings, skirts, and dresses, I went to Plato's Closet to get some jeans. The pair I found which fit quite nicely was 3 sizes larger than I normally wear. It was really disappointing.
So here is where I am now, the new starting point I guess:
What is most frustrating is that I had a rough birth which means I can't start exercising as early as I wanted, with good reason. I plan on going on some pretty frequent walks soon.
I just want to feel better again. Because like I was saying, looks matter... in the sense that our own looks matter to us. The aim? Get back here:
Onward we go...I guess.
So, my reasoning for making this post today? I've been pretty down about how much weight I gained and my general body changes during pregnancy, and it sucks. It's making me really down, and I can't help but feel stressed about it. I get so mad when I see all these people who only gained a small amount of weight and lost it right away and pretty much look like they didn't even have a baby.
Here I am, a month postpartum, and I have lost only 20 lbs. about 7 and a half of that was the baby. That means I've only lost the extra weight of the baby, the placenta, enlarged uterus, and additional fluids inside of me. You may think that 20 lbs is a lot. It's not, compared to the fact that I gained 62 lbs between the day I found out I was pregnant and the day I went into labor with Tristan. That isn't even considering that I lost 15 lbs in the first trimester. Between the second and third, I somehow managed to gain 77 lbs, most of which was gained at the end in fluids, because I was swollen like a mofo.
This number would probably bug me, but what bugs me more is how I feel generally wider, and my stomach is not flat for the first time, and covered in deep, angry stretch marks.
So today, after living in yoga pants, gauchos, sweats, leggings, skirts, and dresses, I went to Plato's Closet to get some jeans. The pair I found which fit quite nicely was 3 sizes larger than I normally wear. It was really disappointing.
So here is where I am now, the new starting point I guess:
What is most frustrating is that I had a rough birth which means I can't start exercising as early as I wanted, with good reason. I plan on going on some pretty frequent walks soon.
I just want to feel better again. Because like I was saying, looks matter... in the sense that our own looks matter to us. The aim? Get back here:
 |
| Winter 2009-2010. Not my smallest, but good for me. |
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| Right after we moved in to new apartment, shortly before Tristan was conceived. Wink wink ;) |
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