I am on day 4 of my transitional week into a clean eating schedule and regular exercise routine, although I have already technically started the exercise routine.
For me, the problem was that I have trouble controlling my diet, so although exercise came very, very easy to me, I couldn't seem to resist many foods simply for how good it tasted. But over the last few days I've really been thinking about why that is--why I couldn't seem to pull myself away. I never thought of myself as an emotional eater, because when I get upset, I lose my appetite and just cannot bring myself to eat; my stomach feels like it's the size of a marble when this happens. I realize now though, that I wasn't eating simply because I liked the taste of food, I love the feeling inside me when it tastes good. In short, I've realized I am in fact, an emotional eater, I just happen to eat when I'm happy.
Realizing this helped me understand that I need absolutely control everything that enters my body, that I'm the one that makes this call, and that's that.
So, as of now I have done a great job of doing this. I'm using an app I found called Lose It!, which I'm pretty sure is also a website. With this free app, I can input my height, weight, age, and goal weight and how quickly I want to get there. Based on this, the program sets a net calorie limit, which carries a weekly budget.
I chose a goal weight of 125, and since I want to achieve that goal by May, I chose the option for 2 lbs a week, the maximum. This gives me a net allowance of 1,428--not much to work with, but the app definitely helps. Since its my transition week, I was planning on seeing what the slight cutback would help with, still allowing myself little morsels of enjoyment until next week, when the clean eating plan begins. Turns out though that those little changes put me right there, problem being that the things I'm choosing to eat really aren't especially healthy, so I can't have a lot of it. By switching to this clean eating program, I'm hoping it helps me just stay more balanced and develop a taste for more natural, healthy foods.
So, my weight in. I decided yesterday to get a starting number and see where I was really at.
That number, is 210. Two hundred ten. I can't believe I actually weigh over 200 lbs.
But when I weighed myself this morning, I was surprised to see I was now clocking in at 207. Talk about water retention! Either way, I have technically achieved my two lb goal for the week, but I'm still busting my ass to keep up for the weeks to follow. Right now, weight loss is going to be rapid, since I'm eating enough to maintain a smaller frame only and exercising regularly. But once I make smaller sizes, its going to slow down and plateau at times, so I need to establish habits of pushing through those times now in order to make my goal weight in the time frame I've set for myself.
To help, I've written out a reward list. Every five pounds I lose (starting at 200 lbs), I reward myself for my achievement. At 200 lbs and every 20 lbs or so, I reward myself with new fitness clothes--its important to feel like you look good to keep that motivation going! Other rewards are going for pedicures, massages, facials, getting myself fresh flowers, basically things that AREN'T food. My reward for reaching 130 lbs is to spring for a spendy hair session, whatever I want, which will probably be extensions. The final reward for reaching 125? VEGAS!!!!
So yesterday, we ended up having Taco Johns for dinner. Naughty, I know--but I had two softshell tacos which are suprisingly rather low in calories, and only half of a small potato olay's Tony and I shared. Today, we grilled up chicken wings on the barbeque and flavored it with buffalo sauce (zero calories!). Had five wings total since each wing itself nets about 100 calories a pop, a cup of rice, and a ridiculous amount of asparagus. Mmmmm, asparagus.
I was supposed to do yoga yesterday and rest today, but since Tony ended up working a 15 hour day and didn't come home until late, I didn't have the time between taking care of the house and little Tristan on my own. So, I did some yoga today which felt great, but I'm wanting to go back to the plan I was using while training for the half marathon I ran the year before I had Tristan. It was more challenging and focused on building strength as much as it focused on breathing and relaxation.
Tomorrow, I go for an interval walk/run--60 seconds on, 90 seconds off eight times. The last run went well, so I'm hoping to move a little faster and cover a little more ground tomorrow. Only one more set like this and I'll bump up to level 2, but let's discuss that when I get there, shall we?
Long post, without any pictures, but I have so much to say about all this and am hoping to keep myself honest and open by just blogging about my weight loss experience. Things I have on the roster to discuss: shopping lists for meal plans (rough drafts!?! Yeah, I went there), fad diets, diet pills/supplements, "clean" eating, and of course, the condition that affects my weight most of all (other than my own willpower), my hypothyroidism. I'll close with the decision I made this morning to weigh in every. single. morning. When I lost a lot of weight last time around, I was weighing myself daily to monitor changes. I want to recreate that experience as much as possible so I can achieve those results.
I'M GETTING MY BODY BACK! NO IFS, AND, BUTS, MAYBE'S, WISHING, HOPING, PRAYING, DREAMING, EXCUSES OR CRYING. In the words of Yoda, "Do, or do not. There is no try." I'm not going to try, I'm just going to do, because I have to.
I'll check in again soon. Until then--
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